Today I’ve discovered that the online news world was evil. I read the newspaper, and got really dissapointed, since todays news were all about the loopy star of daytime TV, guess whom? failed? Dan Bunyan. Now this Bunyan guy, he’s going all gaga about some chick, and I’m pretty sure than’t not news material but apparently it is, cos he’s on TV, and he’s a gay man, a homosexual, when you say “what what”, he says “in the butt”. But I don’t care bout dat stuff, I’m fine with it, and hope h’s going to better parties than I do. Ain’t life grand?
But no, the EVIL press has to drag him down through the dirt, like he’s some evil mofo. The chubby all round nice guy played some fat detective on prime time tv, and apparently in his earlier life he touched a bunch of some other guys. I really enjoyd his tv show, I thoght he was great. didnt’ you?
But that huge and awful world of online news! ! ! 
The guy just wanted a break, he ain’t done nothing bad! I really feel for him. As a former TV star, I myself find that awful. Back in the days I took part in the TV show called “Bunny and the Happy Bunch Love”, I had people harrasing me all day and all night. My PR guy used to ask me to pipe down, not to shout at the camera men, not kissing dogs in public, and not going to my rabbi on the shabbos. but alas, I’ve become as famous and contovercial as Mike patton, or even that Abu-Chicho guy from the hummus place.
I’m not some glorified war veteran, I didn’t kill 10 men (do 7 murders count?), and I mostly eat pizza, exclusively. I love pizza, It’s yummy in my tummy, om nom nom. When an afro-american guy from morroco tried to sell me the garlic bread last night, I didn’t even tell him I’m into that. I was all relaxed, loose, with my lovings spread wide apart, like a genum of a sea monkey in a cold cold glass jar. And I’m no monkey, and my gov. is not giddy. I’m not sure about this. Could some of my faithful readers explain this account?
Don’t be getting on my nerves, mr. news man, in your world wide web with your online news stuff and the registered nurses that made love to a cat on a hot tin car. No, no, don’t forget. Even when you’re sad, you’ve got me. Don’t, no, don’t forget, I am here.
Keep it positive.
